|
Anger Mismanagement in the Rude Island Baseball Congregation 
This week we present the first in a series of Case Studies of perpetually angry motherfucker in the Rude Island Baseball Association. Take a few minutes to sit down with Dr. Purple as he presents Case Study #1 - Black Ass Mu'ayyad
RIBC Anger Case Study #1: 
Black Ass Mu’ayyad Sometimes it is easy to see what pisses off players in the RIBC. For example, nobody likes to get demoted to triple A if you are used to being in the show. However, other times the rage cannot be easily connected to playing time, demotion, or complete suckitude by the player or his team. Such is the case with a young outfielder from Hyderabad of the Association of Indian Baseball. Jemaine ‘Black Ass’ Mu’ayyad isn’t pissed off right now, but the 23 year old from New Zealand spent most of the last two seasons infuriated, incensed and irate. This left fielder doesn’t hit for average or power, and has virtually no speed, so on the surface it may be easy to associate his anger with his utter pathetic performance. However, Jemaine blames his statistics, as well as his previous boiling rage, on what he claims is rampant racism in the AIB against players from New Zealand.  As ridiculous as this sounds the following exchange with a White Dots employee only identified as ‘Sinjay’ was witnessed by this reporter outside the White Dots clubhouse: Jemaine: It doesn't matter what country someone's from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesn't matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently...some would say, more correctly. Sinjay: Yeah... Jemaine: Let me finish. I'm a person. You're a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person. Sinjay: That's a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys. For further confirmation, we contacted the AIB’s only other Kiwi player, Bret ‘Brit’ Pee Wee Dalum of Madras. 
Bret confirmed that he did have issues with racism upon entering the AIB, but that he and Jemaine have actually helped each other deal with it, and the anger that goes with it, via the outlet of rap music. Their song “Mutha Ukers” was the creative result of Jemaine’s incident with Sinjay noted above. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqxnm6t3QMw Through their courage and creativity Black Ass and Pee Wee have shown that sometimes being angry can lead to something good. Editor’s note: Just before this article went to press Bret Dalum notified us that their racism issue had completely gone away once they were able to explain they were from New Zealand and not Australia. |
Home
