Rude Island Baseball Congregation
Injuries | | | Wednesday, September 21st, 1814 | | Rhode Island Scholars: W. Jones was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Saturday, September 17th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: S. Lang was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. | | Rhode Island Scholars: L. McQueen was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Friday, September 16th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: B. Pavlin was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: tender nuts. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. | | Rhode Island Scholars: F. Haugwitz was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: blew some mud. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, September 11th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: J. Sinden was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Majorca Labias: M. Herrerra was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: pulled groin muscle...he he he. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Thursday, September 8th, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: N. Sommerstad was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: T. Mines was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: getting circumcised. He's expected to miss about 8 weeks. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: D. Vanderbilt was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Monday, September 5th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: L. Pilo was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Solomon Islands Miners: D. Brunson was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: broken heart. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Sunday, September 4th, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: L. Langelier was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Saturday, September 3rd, 1814 | | Elba Corps: O. Onomoto was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Thursday, September 1st, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: D. Merens was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bit by urchin. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: G. Hocking was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Tuesday, August 30th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: B. Stransky was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: vacation. He's expected to miss about 2-3 weeks. | | Manhattan Cocktails: A. Larocque was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dislocated nutsack. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Monday, August 29th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: C. Spriggs was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: drank expired horse jizz. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Sunday, August 28th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: P. bin Musa was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Friday, August 26th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: L. Segars was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: on restriction. He's expected to miss about 12 months. | | Rhode Island Scholars: F. Papanastasiou was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: drank expired horse jizz. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: P. bin Musa was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: faking it. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Monday, August 22nd, 1814 | | Elba Corps: V. Rutkowski was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Sunday, August 21st, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: Q. Conover was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: rabies. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. | | Bikini Island Bombers: T. Kruit was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Saturday, August 20th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: Q. Conzuesra was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Thursday, August 18th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: S. Ilac was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: erection will not go down. He's expected to miss about 6-7 weeks. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: B. Stransky was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. |
| Sunday, August 14th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: D. Teek is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. |
| Saturday, August 13th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: J. Buckley was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: faking it. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Friday, August 12th, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: S. Thomas was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: D. Vanderbilt was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: vacation. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Wednesday, August 10th, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: S. French was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: anal leakage. He's expected to miss about 5 weeks. | | Manhattan Cocktails: O. Fildes was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Monday, August 8th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: B. Stransky was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Friday, August 5th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: B. Stransky was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Elba Corps: S. Lowell was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: pulled groin muscle...he he he. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Malta Falcons: L. Pilo was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Thursday, August 4th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: L. Redondo is ill. The Diagnosis: squirts. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. | | Majorca Labias: L. Langelier was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Wednesday, August 3rd, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: R. Read was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: G. Hocking was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Malta Falcons: B. Ström was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: torn beef curtains. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Tuesday, August 2nd, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: M. Herrerra was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: ate bad tuna salad. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Sunday, July 31st, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: M. Seagarra was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: kidnapped. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. |
| Saturday, July 30th, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: S. French was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: fractured cock. He's expected to miss about 7-8 months. | | Ceylon Intruders: B. Ticas was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Bikini Island Bombers: Y. Brions was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Tuesday, July 26th, 1814 | | Rhode Island Scholars: D. Zharuev is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: T. Lameiro was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: monthly visitor. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, July 25th, 1814 | | Rhode Island Scholars: D. Bultarro was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Manhattan Cocktails: C. Packingham was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: D. Pinkney was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Friday, July 22nd, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: A. Melgoza was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Thursday, July 21st, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: P. bin Musa was injured while playing Bocce Ball at a local festa. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Majorca Labias: L. Langelier was injured while stealing a base. The Diagnosis: vacation. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Friday, July 15th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: G. Tameta was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: pulled groin muscle...he he he. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Solomon Islands Miners: B. Zumaya was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: bruised tits. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. |
| Thursday, July 14th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: F. Stokes was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 8-9 weeks. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: H. Iakovou was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. | | Shag Rocks Wandering Albatrosses: X. Salmon was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: B. Stransky was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: his woman done left him. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Isle of Man Whores: S. Gulledge was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 6 weeks. |
| Wednesday, July 13th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: C. Sherborne was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Tuesday, July 12th, 1814 | | Isle of Man Whores: K. Mosena was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: sore ass. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Monday, July 11th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: F. Stokes was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: tender nuts. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Bikini Island Bombers: T. Kruit was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bit by urchin. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Majorca Labias: P. Frend was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Saturday, July 9th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: V. Mabbitt was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Friday, July 8th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: J. Astier was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Ceylon Intruders: W. Flannery was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 8 weeks. | | Bikini Island Bombers: S. Rose was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: breast enlargement. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Tuesday, July 5th, 1814 | | Shag Rocks Wandering Albatrosses: N. Stanhope was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Majorca Labias: R. Edwin was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. | | Elba Corps: N. Rodgers was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: tender nuts. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Monday, July 4th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: G. Kennerson was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, July 3rd, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: A. Summerscales was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Saturday, July 2nd, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: G. Pender is ill. The Diagnosis: incontinence. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: T. Lameiro was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about 4 days. |
| Friday, July 1st, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: O. Duncalf was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Ceylon Intruders: I. Allcorn was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Thursday, June 30th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: D. Dame was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: the black plague. He's expected to miss about 7 weeks. | | Elba Corps: V. Rutkowski was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, June 26th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: B. Ivanchuk was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Majorca Labias: P. Pollock was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Saturday, June 25th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: H. Peltier was injured while stealing a base. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Rhode Island Scholars: B. Ledespencer was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Friday, June 24th, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: L. Pilo was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, June 20th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: D. Urcullu was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Elba Corps: T. Lavol was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Sunday, June 19th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: B. Pavlin was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: V. Altman was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. |
| Saturday, June 18th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: W. Portillos was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dislocated nutsack. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: H. Ferrermena was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Thursday, June 16th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: S. Dali was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: drank expired horse jizz. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: B. Stransky was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Manhattan Cocktails: M. Ahmanov was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: broken heart. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Manhattan Cocktails: C. Packingham was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Wednesday, June 15th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: G. Gamali was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Monday, June 13th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: H. Iakovou was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: ate bad tuna salad. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Sunday, June 12th, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: L. Jones was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. He's expected to miss about 5 weeks. |
| Saturday, June 11th, 1814 | | Isle of Man Whores: A. Dook was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Malta Falcons: M. Crisanty was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Solomon Islands Miners: B. Zumaya was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Solomon Islands Miners: L. Pilo was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bit by urchin. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Thursday, June 9th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: D. Dame was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Rhode Island Scholars: D. Bultarro was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 3-4 weeks. |
| Tuesday, June 7th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: S. Pucci was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: busy fingering sister. He's expected to miss about 4-5 weeks. |
| Monday, June 6th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: D. Rabinovich was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: overdose. He's expected to miss about 2-3 weeks. |
| Thursday, June 2nd, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: G. Ramuz was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. |
| Wednesday, June 1st, 1814 | | Manhattan Cocktails: A. Larocque was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. | | Rhode Island Scholars: D. Zharuev was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Tuesday, May 31st, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: M. McTarlich was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: T. Lameiro was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, May 30th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: S. Tindell was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: erection will not go down. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Saturday, May 28th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: F. Aitcheson was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Thursday, May 26th, 1814 | | Solomon Islands Miners: L. Pilo was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: R. Jacobson was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Monday, May 23rd, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: D. Schmidt was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: Montezuma’s revenge. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: C. Brisco was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Ceylon Intruders: I. Allcorn was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: pulled groin muscle...he he he. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. |
| Thursday, May 19th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: S. Gabriel was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 7-8 months. | | Majorca Labias: A. Bergheim was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Malta Falcons: S. Mellizo was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: faking it. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Wednesday, May 18th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: R. Iracheta was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bit by urchin. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Malta Falcons: H. Fivelim was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: jury duty. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Bikini Island Bombers: T. Kruit was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, May 16th, 1814 | | Isle of Man Whores: D. Englehart was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: slipped on father's cum. He's expected to miss about 2 months. |
| Saturday, May 14th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: G. Tameta was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: monthly visitor. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Bikini Island Bombers: S. Pucci was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: faking it. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Wednesday, May 11th, 1814 | | Isle of Man Whores: B. Zumaya was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. | | Manhattan Cocktails: L. Hillán was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: the black plague. He's expected to miss about 6 weeks. |
| Sunday, May 8th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: C. Vere was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: ladybug attack. He's expected to miss about 3 months. | | Ceylon Intruders: M. McEachin was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: slipped on father's cum. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. |
| Wednesday, May 4th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: S. Indrebř was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Tuesday, May 3rd, 1814 | | Manhattan Cocktails: M. Eifler was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, May 1st, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: G. Welsh is ill. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. |
| Saturday, April 30th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: A. Summerscales is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Friday, April 29th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: H. Erijenko was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: loose stool. He's expected to miss about 3 months. | | Elba Corps: R. Iracheta was injured in a collision at home plate. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Ceylon Intruders: L. Segars was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: Montezuma’s revenge. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Thursday, April 28th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: H. Fivelim was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Majorca Labias: A. Bergheim was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Wednesday, April 27th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: W. Remoundos is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Tuesday, April 26th, 1814 | | Isle of Man Whores: A. Dook is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Saturday, April 23rd, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: G. Koopman was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: pulled groin muscle...he he he. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Friday, April 22nd, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: D. Escovedo was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: strained back trying to blow a midget. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: J. Buckley was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: got the unfuckingbelievable shits. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. |
| Thursday, April 21st, 1814 | | Elba Corps: R. Iracheta was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: his woman done left him. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Wednesday, April 20th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: D. Pinkney was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Monday, April 18th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: L. Amick was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Saturday, April 16th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: R. Ananikian was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, April 10th, 1814 | | Manhattan Cocktails: O. Leaper was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: H. Lanning was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Tuesday, April 5th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: M. Ursin was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, April 4th, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: Q. Conover was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: his woman done left him. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Thursday, March 31st, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: I. Allcorn is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Saturday, March 26th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: L. Langlais was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Elba Corps: S. Tindell was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Friday, March 25th, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: M. McEachin was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: broken heart. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. | | Majorca Labias: M. Herrerra was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Thursday, March 24th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: C. van Doren was injured while throwing a shoe out his window to stop a cat from meowing. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: C. Isakov was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Wednesday, March 23rd, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: J. Garrick was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: ass vomit. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Tuesday, March 22nd, 1814 | | Ceylon Intruders: D. Dame was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Rhode Island Scholars: L. McQueen was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Monday, March 21st, 1814 | | Shag Rocks Wandering Albatrosses: M. Henty was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: R. Darragh was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hyperextended boner. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: G. Mazet was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Elba Corps: S. Lowell was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: severe farts. He's expected to miss about 3 months. |
| Saturday, March 19th, 1814 | | Manhattan Cocktails: P. Guerin was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Isle of Man Whores: D. Englehart was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Malta Falcons: S. Ilac was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: strained back trying to blow a midget. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Elba Corps: P. Peebles was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Elba Corps: S. Dearden was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: fractured thorax. He's expected to miss about 7 weeks. |
| Thursday, March 17th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: D. Prignano was injured while falling off the stage at a NAMBLA Awards Ceremony. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Solomon Islands Miners: W. Iriarte was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Tuesday, March 15th, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: R. Holton was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Sunday, March 13th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: B. Ström was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Thursday, March 10th, 1814 | | Manhattan Cocktails: K. Kenworthy was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: breast enlargement. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. | | Bikini Island Bombers: Y. Brions was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: ate bad tuna salad. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. |
| Wednesday, March 9th, 1814 | | Elba Corps: S. Tindell was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: tender nuts. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, March 7th, 1814 | | Malta Falcons: S. Garay was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, March 6th, 1814 | | Manhattan Cocktails: M. Smith was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Ceylon Intruders: I. Hashigami was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bruised ego. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Solomon Islands Miners: C. Anviles was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Malta Falcons: H. Ritchey was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Saturday, March 5th, 1814 | | Alcatraz Birdmen: C. Medlock was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Alcatraz Birdmen: D. McVurich was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. |
| Friday, March 4th, 1814 | | Majorca Labias: Q. Conover was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: overdose. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Majorca Labias: P. Pollock was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Thursday, March 3rd, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: P. bin Musa was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: ass vomit. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Bikini Island Bombers: F. Holmqvist was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Wednesday, March 2nd, 1814 | | Krakatoa Lava Lamps: D. Lally was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Friday, February 11th, 1814 | | Bikini Island Bombers: S. Adrov was injured after getting in a fight during a strip poker game. The Diagnosis: dislocated nutsack. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
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