Association of Indian Baseball Injuries | | | Saturday, July 16th, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: B. Reguera was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. | | Madras Priests: B. Cargile was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Jodhpur Red Dots: K. Furtsch was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Thursday, July 14th, 1814 | | Punjab Poontang: S. Densem was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Wednesday, July 13th, 1814 | | Bombay Doors: H. Phillips was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Madras Priests: G. Koraïs was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Monday, July 11th, 1814 | | Bangalore Torpedoes: W. Sevaldsen was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Sunday, July 10th, 1814 | | Madras Priests: J. McArt was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Bangalore Torpedoes: S. Urcelay was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: erection will not go down. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: C. Wolfson was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Thursday, July 7th, 1814 | | Hyderabad White Dots: M. Honess was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: M. Flowers was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: pulled groin muscle...he he he. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Wednesday, July 6th, 1814 | | Jodhpur Red Dots: A. Aoyagi was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: F. Spain was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bit by urchin. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Monday, July 4th, 1814 | | New Delhi Llamas: T. Raudales was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Sunday, July 3rd, 1814 | | Calcutta Farts: H. Klaus was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | New Delhi Llamas: E. McBratney was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: vacation. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. | | Friday, July 1st, 1814 | | Hyderabad White Dots: S. Westover was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Hyderabad White Dots: R. Echevarría was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Calcutta Farts: R. Hacini was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Thursday, June 30th, 1814 | | Bangalore Torpedoes: R. Uso was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Sunday, June 26th, 1814 | | Punjab Poontang: D. Nabhani was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: penis reduction surgery. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Friday, June 24th, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: J. Staniforth was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: ate bad tuna salad. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Madras Priests: L. Shanny was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: raw balloon knot from too much Indian food. He's expected to miss about 3-4 weeks. | | Thursday, June 23rd, 1814 | | Bangalore Torpedoes: F. Mishuev was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: ruptured yellow thingy. He's expected to miss about 7-8 months. | | Wednesday, June 22nd, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: T. Main was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Tuesday, June 21st, 1814 | | Punjab Poontang: B. Huggler was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Monday, June 20th, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: Z. Marron was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Sunday, June 19th, 1814 | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: M. Flowers was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bruised ego. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Friday, June 17th, 1814 | | Calcutta Farts: G. Creek was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Tuesday, June 14th, 1814 | | New Delhi Llamas: E. McBratney was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: L. Muk was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 12-13 months. | | Punjab Poontang: R. Gingrich was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Punjab Poontang: B. van Oord was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: monthly visitor. He's expected to miss about 3-4 weeks. | | Hyderabad White Dots: F. Franchescetti was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. He's expected to miss about one week. | | Sunday, June 12th, 1814 | | Punjab Poontang: R. Agar was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Saturday, June 11th, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: D. Castleberry was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Monday, June 6th, 1814 | | Madras Priests: I. Modica was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Saturday, June 4th, 1814 | | Bombay Doors: B. Washam was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Monday, May 30th, 1814 | | Bangalore Torpedoes: R. Valdaliso was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: sore ass. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Thursday, May 26th, 1814 | | Bangalore Torpedoes: R. Valdaliso was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Monday, May 23rd, 1814 | | Calcutta Farts: F. Corum was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: rabies. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. | | Madras Priests: F. Taine was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Saturday, May 21st, 1814 | | Goa Constrictors: B. Hojem was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: getting circumcised. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Calcutta Farts: P. Bock was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Friday, May 20th, 1814 | | Punjab Poontang: R. Agar was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: AIDS. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. | | Bombay Doors: W. Soberauiz was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Madras Priests: H. Jones was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Thursday, May 19th, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: T. Main was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Jodhpur Red Dots: S. Dormal was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Tuesday, May 17th, 1814 | | Calcutta Farts: R. Halvari was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Jodhpur Red Dots: O. Taylor was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Sunday, May 15th, 1814 | | Goa Constrictors: J. Sigler was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Saturday, May 14th, 1814 | | New Delhi Llamas: S. Render was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: penis reduction surgery. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Friday, May 13th, 1814 | | Goa Constrictors: G. Aceves was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: strained back trying to blow a midget. He's expected to miss about 6 weeks. | | Calcutta Farts: Q. Grønås was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Wednesday, May 11th, 1814 | | Hyderabad White Dots: K. Contrenos was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Sunday, May 8th, 1814 | | Punjab Poontang: Y. McMillan was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Friday, May 6th, 1814 | | Hyderabad White Dots: C. Ruby was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bit by urchin. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Wednesday, May 4th, 1814 | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: N. Garmas was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Goa Constrictors: C. Teninty was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Tuesday, May 3rd, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: H. Hals was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: vacation. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: C. Budd was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Monday, May 2nd, 1814 | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: S. Filion was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Madras Priests: B. Cargile was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: droopy nipples. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Thursday, April 28th, 1814 | | Kashmir Sweaters: H. Sureho was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Assan Barage Brown-Capped Peckers: S. Land was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Monday, April 25th, 1814 | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: C. Pevaeta was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Sunday, April 24th, 1814 | | New Delhi Llamas: N. Sashi was injured when he was barbecuing up some fucking Sabatino’s sausage. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Madras Priests: L. Latorle was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: feeling yucky. He's expected to miss about 12 months. | | Hyderabad White Dots: B. Ellinger was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. | | Saturday, April 23rd, 1814 | | Goa Constrictors: R. Wesley was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Friday, April 22nd, 1814 | | New Delhi Llamas: T. Raudales was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Bangalore Torpedoes: G. Atherol was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: droopy nipples. He's expected to miss about 6 weeks. | | Thursday, April 21st, 1814 | | Calcutta Farts: K. Canavezes was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Hyderabad White Dots: T. Zher was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: punctured booty. He's expected to miss about 2 months. | | Wednesday, April 20th, 1814 | | Jodhpur Red Dots: B. Liao was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: busy fingering sister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Monday, April 18th, 1814 | | Goa Constrictors: R. Wesley was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Jodhpur Red Dots: A. Wormgoor was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Sunday, April 17th, 1814 | | Mumbai Sitar Heroes: E. Andronikos was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | Madras Priests: G. Koraïs was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Thursday, April 14th, 1814 | | Madras Priests: J. Spence was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Hyderabad White Dots: R. Entus was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: feeling yucky. He's expected to miss about 2 months. | | Punjab Poontang: C. Salmons was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. | | Monday, April 11th, 1814 | | Bangalore Torpedoes: F. Mishuev was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Calcutta Farts: B. Talbott was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: vacation. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Sunday, April 10th, 1814 | | Madras Priests: J. McArt was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Calcutta Farts: B. Talbott was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Friday, April 8th, 1814 | | Jodhpur Red Dots: A. Rawcliffe was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 8 weeks. | | Thursday, April 7th, 1814 | | Jodhpur Red Dots: A. Aoyagi was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Bangalore Torpedoes: P. Guillemette was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 7-8 weeks. | | Punjab Poontang: B. Brathwaite was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Calcutta Farts: Q. Grønås was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Saturday, April 2nd, 1814 | | Goa Constrictors: C. Teninty was injured in a collision at home plate. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | New Delhi Llamas: L. Wilkins was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: kidnapped. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | Punjab Poontang: L. MacUlric was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Friday, April 1st, 1814 | | New Delhi Llamas: R. Rovalino was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: monthly visitor. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. | | New Delhi Llamas: S. Render was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | New Delhi Llamas: T. Raudales was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | |
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