College League
Injuries | | | Friday, June 17th, 1814 | | Cal Poly Mustangs: R. Lucerna was injured while throwing rocks at a preschool playground. The Diagnosis: got the unfuckingbelievable shits. He's expected to miss about 2 months. |
| Saturday, May 28th, 1814 | | Cuesta College Cougars: B. Duga was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: fastball in nutsack. He's expected to miss about 7 months. |
| Thursday, May 26th, 1814 | | Collège de Sorbonne Frogs: R. Holeman was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: his woman done left him. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. |
| Wednesday, May 25th, 1814 | | Lousiana State Tigers: M. Peylon was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about one week. | | UNCW Seahawks: R. McHaffie was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. |
| Tuesday, May 24th, 1814 | | Lousiana State Tigers: C. Natrio was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, May 22nd, 1814 | | UNCW Seahawks: D. Bravo was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: the black plague. He's expected to miss about 4-5 weeks. | | Oxford Stuffshirts: M. Løkke was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Saturday, May 21st, 1814 | | Fullerton State Titans: S. Lister was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 12 months. |
| Thursday, May 19th, 1814 | | Faber College Otters: D. bin Ubadah was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: his woman done left him. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. |
| Monday, May 16th, 1814 | | Fullerton State Titans: S. Shetler was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Saturday, May 14th, 1814 | | Humboldt State Weed: A. Marie was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. | | Cal Poly Mustangs: G. Onue was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Thursday, May 12th, 1814 | | Humboldt State Weed: P. Hubbard was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Wednesday, May 11th, 1814 | | Humboldt State Weed: S. Cicio was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Monday, May 9th, 1814 | | Sonoma State Winos: W. Belmore was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: penis reduction surgery. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Yale Bulldogs: P. Niveda was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Cuesta College Cougars: S. McAtee was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Saturday, May 7th, 1814 | | Sonoma State Winos: S. Fagan was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: fractured thorax. He's expected to miss about 8 weeks. | | Sonoma State Winos: R. Innocenti was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: teabagging accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. | | UNCW Seahawks: S. Ciechocki was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Friday, May 6th, 1814 | | Cal Poly Mustangs: P. Nurse was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Faber College Otters: C. Spain was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, May 2nd, 1814 | | Humboldt State Weed: P. Rondeau was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: ladybug attack. He's expected to miss about 7 months. | | UNCW Seahawks: H. Zhero was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Sunday, April 24th, 1814 | | Cal Poly Mustangs: B. Beier was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: run over by bus. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | Fullerton State Titans: W. Fimbres was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Tuesday, April 19th, 1814 | | Lousiana State Tigers: H. Egerman was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. | | UNCW Seahawks: C. Mufeed was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: got the unfuckingbelievable shits. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. |
| Saturday, April 16th, 1814 | | Oxford Stuffshirts: C. Langmead is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | Faber College Otters: S. Capelo was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about one week. |
| Tuesday, April 12th, 1814 | | Cuesta College Cougars: E. Caudrón was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: syphilis. He's expected to miss about 7 months. | | Cal Poly Mustangs: T. bin Hashim was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: monthly visitor. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Monday, April 11th, 1814 | | Oxford Stuffshirts: D. Newell was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Friday, April 8th, 1814 | | Yale Bulldogs: D. Ashworth was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. | | Yale Bulldogs: A. Eguizabal was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Wednesday, April 6th, 1814 | | Collège de Sorbonne Frogs: L. Risso was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Humboldt State Weed: T. Kurtz was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Sunday, April 3rd, 1814 | | Oxford Stuffshirts: E. MacVicar was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Saturday, April 2nd, 1814 | | Yale Bulldogs: L. Hiranuma was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: too many gawdam tacos. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. | | Cuesta College Cougars: A. Montés-Ortíz was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. | | Cal Poly Mustangs: B. Beier was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: faking it. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. | | Humboldt State Weed: J. Somm was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: penis reduction surgery. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. |
| Tuesday, February 22nd, 1814 | | UNCW Seahawks: C. McRae was injured while fucking the pool boy. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. He's expected to miss about one week. |
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