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High School League Injuries Friday, June 24th, 1814 Paraparaumu Beach HS Shawks: P. Fagatti was injured while trimming his nose hairs. The Diagnosis: stroking it. He's expected to miss about 3-4 weeks. Sunday, May 15th, 1814 Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: B. Cantin was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: ate bad tuna salad. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. Saturday, May 14th, 1814 Adolpho Camarillo HS Scorps: A. Stromber was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: Montezuma’s revenge. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Friday, May 13th, 1814 Hollywood HS Sheiks: F. Bruggeman was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. He's expected to miss about 2-3 weeks. Wednesday, May 11th, 1814 Laguna Beach HS Fighting Artists: P. Flynt was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Vatican HS Cardinals: B. Degracia was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. El Toro HS Chargers: G. Éthier was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Monday, May 9th, 1814 Vatican HS Cardinals: M. Pedler was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: too many gawdam tacos. He's expected to miss about 2 months. Sunday, May 8th, 1814 Vatican HS Cardinals: C. Cuarenio was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. Saturday, May 7th, 1814 Laguna Beach HS Fighting Artists: P. Bos was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: strained back trying to blow a midget. He's expected to miss about 3-4 weeks. Paraparaumu Beach HS Shawks: A. Ziska was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 2-3 weeks. Thursday, May 5th, 1814 Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: L. Glechian was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: droopy nipples. He's expected to miss about 8 weeks. Wednesday, May 4th, 1814 Montecristi HS Weavers: S. Crank was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: monthly visitor. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: R. Predrasa was injured in a collision at home plate. The Diagnosis: lock jaw. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. Tuesday, May 3rd, 1814 Hollywood HS Sheiks: T. Swisher was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. Paraparaumu Beach HS Shawks: L. Rounds was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: erectile dysfunction. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. Morro Bay HS Pirates: H. Terresa was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. Monday, May 2nd, 1814 Long Beach Poly HS Jackrabbits: S. Kaponianani was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: strained back trying to blow a midget. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Sunday, May 1st, 1814 Vatican HS Cardinals: Q. Pancheshny was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. Laguna Beach HS Fighting Artists: L. Mondaca was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: severe farts. He's expected to miss about 8 months. El Toro HS Chargers: O. Barros was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Saturday, April 30th, 1814 Adolpho Camarillo HS Scorps: B. Connally was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bruised ego. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. Thursday, April 28th, 1814 Long Beach Poly HS Jackrabbits: B. Bayi is ill. The Diagnosis: incontinence. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. Adolpho Camarillo HS Scorps: S. Seifert was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: G. Buncombe was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: M. Thani was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: dick rash. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Laguna Beach HS Fighting Artists: Z. Blaney was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: donkey punch. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. Wednesday, April 27th, 1814 Montecristi HS Weavers: F. Bills was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: blew some mud. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. Paraparaumu Beach HS Shawks: O. Clinch was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: E. Avgerinos was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: fractured cock. He's expected to miss about 8 months. Tuesday, April 26th, 1814 Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: M. Roby was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: lock jaw. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: G. Cabedo was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: P. Agar was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Monday, April 25th, 1814 Hollywood HS Sheiks: B. Theobald was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. Sunday, April 24th, 1814 San Francisco HS Thaylors: S. Friend was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: raw balloon knot from too much Indian food. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. Wednesday, April 20th, 1814 Laguna Beach HS Fighting Artists: L. Tucker was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Monday, April 18th, 1814 Vatican HS Cardinals: S. Bunco was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. He's expected to miss about one week. San Francisco HS Thaylors: G. Buncombe was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Eagles Nest HS Windmills: C. Pauly was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. Adolpho Camarillo HS Scorps: D. Baidzhanov was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. He's expected to miss about 7 months. Sunday, April 17th, 1814 Eagles Nest HS Windmills: Y. Gooden was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: bidet mishap. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. Laguna Beach HS Fighting Artists: Z. Blaney was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. Saturday, April 16th, 1814 Vatican HS Cardinals: M. Alberts was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. Wednesday, April 13th, 1814 Long Beach Poly HS Jackrabbits: U. Guardado was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: ass vomit. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. Tuesday, April 12th, 1814 Adolpho Camarillo HS Scorps: C. bin Tamir was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: drank expired horse jizz. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Hollywood HS Sheiks: T. Swisher was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Monday, April 11th, 1814 San Francisco HS Thaylors: E. Critchley was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: I. Henryk was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. Sunday, April 10th, 1814 El Toro HS Chargers: M. Burgis was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Paraparaumu Beach HS Shawks: C. Frankee was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: temporary insanity. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Saturday, April 9th, 1814 El Toro HS Chargers: S. Helmick was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: tender nuts. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. Eagles Nest HS Windmills: G. Dostie was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: overdose. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. Long Beach Poly HS Jackrabbits: S. Rebow was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: Montezuma’s revenge. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: R. O'Criodan was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about one week. Friday, April 8th, 1814 Morro Bay HS Pirates: C. Raven was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Thursday, April 7th, 1814 Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: A. Marson was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. San Francisco HS Thaylors: G. Buncombe was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. Wednesday, April 6th, 1814 Long Beach Poly HS Jackrabbits: L. Fremio was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: droopy nipples. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. Monday, April 4th, 1814 Long Beach Poly HS Jackrabbits: S. Rojany is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 4 days. Paraparaumu Beach HS Shawks: P. Fagatti was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: erection will not go down. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. Ridgemont HS Ramblin' Rats: D. Passenger was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. Sunday, April 3rd, 1814 Morro Bay HS Pirates: S. Stokely was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. Saturday, April 2nd, 1814 Eagles Nest HS Windmills: G. Dostie was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. Friday, April 1st, 1814 Hollywood HS Sheiks: B. Alexandrina was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: erection will not go down. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. Morro Bay HS Pirates: S. Horner was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: hemorrhoids. He's expected to miss about 7 months. Vatican HS Cardinals: T. Didier was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: too many gawdam tacos. He's expected to miss about 7-8 months. El Toro HS Chargers: T. Laitinen was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: hangover. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. Eagles Nest HS Windmills: M. Whalley was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks.

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Friday, November 21st, 2008 - OOTP 2.0.3.68