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Manhattan Cocktails 03-26-1814
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Breaking News

Tuesday, March 8th, 1814: Cocktails Catcher Hurt
The Manhattan Cocktails were dealt a serious blow when the team learned that Cute Kakalia was likely to be out for 2 weeks after he injured himself running the bases in today's game against the Shag Rocks Wandering Albatrosses. A round of tests by the team doctors revealed the injury to be a bruised ego. Upon learning of their diagnosis, the Manhattan manager told the press, "As you all know, we can't control injuries--they are a part of the game. We just have to do the best we can until Cute is back in action."

Tuesday, September 14th, 1813:

Sunday, September 12th, 1813:

Injuries
Player	Injury	Out for...	Disabled List Status
2B Myril Eifler	torn panties	5 weeks	On DL, eligible for return (60-day DL)
P Pamprin Guerin	dirty uniform	4 days	Not on DL

Pitching Staff
Role	Throws	Pitcher	W	L	SV	ERA
Starter	L	Flippy Cross	0	0	0	0.00
Starter	R	Cubist Packingham	0	0	0	0.00
Starter	L	Bear Lyvet	0	0	0	0.00
Starter	L	Badger Kabaija	0	0	0	0.00
Starter	R	Ultraviolet Forman	0	0	0	0.00
Spot Starter	L	Pamprin Guerin	0	0	0	0.00
Mopup	R	Vada Migneault	0	0	0	0.00
Mopup	R	Mel Schulthess	0	0	0	0.00
Middle Reliever	L	Pamprin Guerin	0	0	0	0.00
Middle Reliever	R	Gristle McLewis	0	0	0	0.00
Middle Reliever	R	Keir Bessone	0	0	0	0.00
Middle Reliever	R	Elder Cantillo	0	0	0	0.00
Setup Reliever	R	Badger Soboszczyk	0	0	0	0.00
Setup Reliever	L	Packy Quick	0	0	0	0.00
Closer	L	Jed Nalivaiko	0	0	0	0.00

News

Standings
	W	L	PCT	GB
Alcatraz Birdmen	0	0	.000	-
Bikini Island Bombers	0	0	.000	-
Ceylon Intruders	0	0	.000	-
Elba Corps	0	0	.000	-
Isle of Man Whores	0	0	.000	-
Krakatoa Lava Lamps	0	0	.000	-
Majorca Labias	0	0	.000	-
Malta Falcons	0	0	.000	-
Manhattan Cocktails	0	0	.000	-
Rhode Island Scholars	0	0	.000	-
Shag Rocks Wandering Albatrosses	0	0	.000	-
Solomon Islands Miners	0	0	.000	-

Team Information
Record overall	0-0, .000 PCT
Position in Division	1st, - GB
Record at home	0-0, .000 PCT
Record on the road	0-0, .000 PCT
Record in X-inning games	0-0, .000 PCT
Record in one-run games	0-0, .000 PCT
Record versus LHP	0-0, .000 PCT
Record versus RHP	0-0, .000 PCT
Record last 10 games	0-0, .000 PCT

Team Batting Stats & Rankings
Batting Average	.000 - tied for 1st in RIBC
On-Base Percentage	.000 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Slugging Percentage	.000 - tied for 1st in RIBC
On-Base + Slugging	.000 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Runs Scored	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Hits	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Extra-Base Hits	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Home Runs	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Bases-On-Balls	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Strikeouts	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Stolen Bases	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC

Team Pitching Stats & Rankings
Earned Run Average	0.00 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Starters' ERA	0.00 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Bullpen ERA	0.00 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Runs allowed	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Hits allowed	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Opponents AVG	.000 - tied for 1st in RIBC
BABIP	.000 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Home Runs allowed	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Bases-On-Balls	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC
Strikeouts	0 - tied for 1st in RIBC