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Manhattan Cocktails
Injuries |  | | Thursday, June 16th, 1814 | | M. Ahmanov was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: broken heart. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. | | C. Packingham was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Saturday, June 4th, 1814 | | C. Packingham is ill. The Diagnosis: flaming homo disease. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Wednesday, June 1st, 1814 | | A. Larocque was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: high as a fucking kite. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Wednesday, May 11th, 1814 | | L. Hillán was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: the black plague. He's expected to miss about 6 weeks. |
| Tuesday, May 3rd, 1814 | | M. Eifler was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: temporary blindness. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, April 10th, 1814 | | O. Leaper was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. |
| Saturday, March 19th, 1814 | | P. Guerin was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Saturday, March 12th, 1814 | | G. Weld was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Thursday, March 10th, 1814 | | K. Kenworthy was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: breast enlargement. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 3 days. |
| Tuesday, March 8th, 1814 | | C. Kakalia was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: bruised ego. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, March 6th, 1814 | | M. Smith was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: sphincter blister. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
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