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Krakatoa Lava Lamps
Injuries |  | | Sunday, June 19th, 1814 | | V. Altman was injured in a collision at a base. The Diagnosis: pinched weiner. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. |
| Saturday, June 18th, 1814 | | H. Ferrermena was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: gonorrhea. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 1-2 weeks. |
| Thursday, June 16th, 1814 | | B. Stransky was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: dirty uniform. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last one week. |
| Sunday, May 29th, 1814 | | R. Jacobson was injured while throwing the ball. The Diagnosis: poopy pants. He's expected to miss about 3 weeks. |
| Thursday, May 26th, 1814 | | R. Jacobson was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: panty sniffing accident. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
| Monday, May 23rd, 1814 | | D. Schmidt was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: Montezuma’s revenge. He's expected to miss about 2 weeks. |
| Sunday, May 8th, 1814 | | C. Vere was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: ladybug attack. He's expected to miss about 3 months. |
| Sunday, May 1st, 1814 | | G. Welsh is ill. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 6 days. |
| Friday, April 22nd, 1814 | | J. Buckley was injured while running the bases. The Diagnosis: got the unfuckingbelievable shits. He's expected to miss about 2-3 months. |
| Monday, March 21st, 1814 | | R. Darragh was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: hyperextended boner. He's expected to miss about 4 weeks. |
| Tuesday, March 15th, 1814 | | R. Holton was injured on a defensive play. The Diagnosis: sticky fingers. He's expected to miss about 1-2 weeks. |
| Thursday, March 3rd, 1814 | | P. bin Musa was injured being hit by a pitch. The Diagnosis: ass vomit. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 5 days. |
| Wednesday, March 2nd, 1814 | | D. Lally was injured while pitching. The Diagnosis: popped boner. This is a day-to-day injury expected to last 2 weeks. |
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